This is my 4th week of exercise after being released to go back to the gym for cardio only. So far, so good. I had a down week last week, but I was still able to make my goal of 3 workout days a week.
Flex it Pink was running a 50 miles in May challenge and I thought there was no way I could do that many miles. You know what? I did it! I wasn’t even counting my miles for May. I just figured I would add them up at the end and if I made it, I made it. I have a tendency to push myself too hard and I didn’t want to risk hurting myself if I try and reach a goal right out of the gate. I was just looking for a little progress.
I finished with a grand total of 72.29 miles! I couldn’t believe it!!! My mileage has slowly been going back up as the doctors were becoming less concerned with my carotid dissection and I was feeling more energetic, but that was an improvement of over 20 miles from April.
I consider this to be baby steps. After all, I have been down since September. I remember when I first started CrossFit, I was frustrated that I couldn’t do a box jump. I mean, I couldn’t even do a folded gymnastics pad(half a box). This “white girl” can’t jump. 🙂 My coach told me, “Baby steps. Start where you can and it will get there”. I will never forget that. It’s all going to get me somewhere. I can’t wait to see what June brings.
Remember the band Chumbawamba from the 90’s? They had that one hit, Tubthumping. In case you don’t know it by that name, it’s the one that goes…”I get knocked down, but I get back up again. You’re never going to keep me down.” The story of my life.
Sometimes, living with a chronic illness and pain is a battle. I was finally back at the gym, and I hit my three day weekly workout goal for the 2nd week and well on my way through my 3rd. But then, you have a crap day.
What? You want me to get out of bed? Unfortunately, or fortunately…I’m not sure which. I’m stubborn and I keep pushing and pushing. I get out of bed, even with the pain or whatever ails me that day.
I had every intention of making it to the gym at my usual 6am time. This morning. However, I’d had a long night. Since my CAD in September, I’ve been having a lot of pain in my head and neck that only happens at night. It wakes me up out of a dead sleep. I know it is just nerve pain from the healing, but sometimes the anxiety gets the best of me. I find it hard to go back to sleep, to turn my head off, to not wonder if these are new pains. Maybe, it’s because of something that I did at the gym. Maybe, I’m pushing myself too hard. Maybe…maybe…maybe.
Maybe, I just need a few days. I need to remember that the Doctor knows best and I’m supposed to be out there.
This is my excuse today. I got knocked down, but I get back up again. From the words of Debbie Reynolds in Unsinkable Molly Brown…”I ain’t down yet”!